Friday, November 15, 2002

it amuses me to no end to note that the teletext subtitles for the missy elliott performance on TOTP said "it's your fremme neppe venette".
some more maps:

the rough trade electronic01 complilation is great, because it consists of two CDs of people striking out in different directions. the rough trade rockandroll01 compilation is much worse, because it consists of two CDs of basically the exact same idea.

my dad on the joe meek collection i have: "it's like they couldn't get anything big so they have the entire B-list of the sixties on an album." my response: "but that's better!"

under construction

this is a map, isn't it? i know fuck all about hip hop - i'm white! i'm catholic! - but it still seems like one, never mind my needing to have where the sample at the end of 'work it' came from pointed out to me..

There's all this about backintheday and backtotheroots but it sounds modern - although i'm hardly the best judge of that - but the incrediblysupermegabrilliant touch is missy's interruptions of her own record for these spoken word bits about dancing in your videos instead of trying to look hard, or about her right to be foulmouthed, and at the start this state-of-hip-hop thing.. things under construction: 1) missy 2) hip hop's reputation 3) the hip hop community..

it's FRIENDLY! even jay z sounds friendly!

"so you gots to chill, cuz i kill at will, like solid water dude
y'all niggaz dont' get it? kill at will? solid water? ice cube!"

the point is there's the joke, and then there's the explanation of the joke to revel in. and there's names and names and more names: i am tempted to make notes. there's nothing so linear-seeming as any of the past-fetishising of Britpop, or of the nu-garage-rock acts - again, it sounds like something modern, it's not old school at the expense of the new, and ..i'm not sure what i'm trying to say here. it's a GREAT record and you should BUY it! i haven't even finished listening to the thing yet.

"i ain't turnin' into the Reverend Elliott on y'all. I just love music and if you don't like it I don't give a shit. aight? basically... I love ya. god bless. goodnight."

and then work it, again, to play out.

Thursday, November 14, 2002

sgt. peppers

first thought: that it sounds dated; second thought: that it doesn't. what does dated mean, anyhow? it sounds like 1967, it sounds like the idea of 1967 that i am used to but since you can hear (in other records) a progression that goes through this, or i have wasted enough time reading Q to believe you can, this isn't something that would be held up as "dated": the essence of dated is that you hear a noise that wouldn't be attempted by anyone today..

maybe what is meant by "dated" is things that have aged sideways: anything that fits on a line (the canon ARGH NO) is never called dated, and anything that followed ideas that turned out to be dead ends sounds "dated" because we wouldn't do that these days, and so, say, if electroclash hits it big suddenly Visage (say) will be far less dated than they were a few years ago..

eddie campbell, from an ALEC comic: "The map of the history of Art is like any other map. There are main roads and side streets; old masters and lesser masters. But there are also backyards, middens, coal bunkers, and rhubarb patches ... no map remains for long an accuracte representation of the locale. Favour ebbs and flows. The crossroads is turned into a flyover or an underpass. The disused road was once a thoroughfare. The Via Roman underneath it all is nowhere indicated."

"Access roads closed. One way systems introduced."
lazy update.

thom jesus west: {link}
thom jesus west: "Q: Do you consider yourself a feminist? A: I don't really know. What exactly is that? " best quote ever.
Harry Lime ARL: good GOD. SEE THAT FUCKISNGOIASHGOIEWGS SEE!!! THAT IS WHY I HATE HER. THAT RIGHT THERE FOR FUCKS SAKE
thom jesus west: what right where?
Harry Lime ARL: YOU FUCKING DORK
Harry Lime ARL: "Q: Do you consider yourself a feminist? A: I don't really know. What exactly is that? "
YOU CANNOT USE AVRIL TO MAKE A POINT!!!! SHE REALLY IS JUST A GENUINELY STUPID PERSON!!!!!!
thom jesus west: are you sure?
Harry Lime ARL: Oh, yes.
thom jesus west: isn't "feminist" an utterly devalued term at this point?
Harry Lime ARL: See, this is what I'm saying.
thom jesus west: isn't the stupid answer actually a far better answer to give?
Harry Lime ARL: But she's giving a stupid answer BECAUSE SHE *IS* STUPID!!!
thom jesus west: hullo do you KNOW THAT?
Harry Lime ARL: I see your point, but you're wildly projecting...
Harry Lime ARL: FUCKING CONTEXT YOU TOOL
thom jesus west: "I'm not going to call myself punk" this is a great interview.
thom jesus west: (nb. the songs are still really bad, but)
Harry Lime ARL: haha, funny because she HAS called herself punk before, but has to rescind that now that she's in the public eye. But I'll give her credit for that at least. But she also goes on to say that she's popular because she 'keeps it real' and is a breath of fresh air in our current (OH NO HOW AWFUL) pop climate.
Harry Lime ARL: she's even derided Britney Spears for being "fake"!!
Harry Lime ARL: Also, her spaghetti strand hair really infuriates me, but that's a minor thing.

[later]

Harry Lime ARL: Look, I've seen her on TV - she did a thing where she talked about being better than Britney. when asked about the success of Complicated, she talks about how different and "honest" it is. it's a very carefully calculated pop thing, it's pink meets blink, WHATEVER. none of that bothers me conceptually. what bothers me is that they've taken HONEST STUPIDITY and turned it around into something to market. i guess. The commercialism doesn't bother me as much either - it's the fucking dishonesty of this girl who KEEPS IT REAL and is ONE OF THE BOYS and DOESNT CARE ABOUT FASHION (yet sets fucking trends) being A FUCKING POP STAR. it's insulting to real pop stars!!!
Harry Lime ARL: " it's insulting to real pop stars!!!"

after much half assed keyboard whinging, I think this is basically my point.

thom jesus west: that's the most delightfully perverse argument i've ever read.
Harry Lime ARL: I'm going to go take a very punk rock shit.
Harry Lime ARL: ON THE ESTABLISHMENT

or the toilet

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

a note for later (maybe): vocal mannerisms of britney spears, circa first album = vocal mannerisms of ari up on 'heard it thru the grapevine'

Sunday, November 10, 2002

dammit i need to start writing regular posts here which aren't crap already.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Friday, November 08, 2002

top of the pops

MADHOUSE are responsible for a dance routine almost as terrible as their pun. I don't like this all that much in the real version, but hey up next is..

MADONNA! .. shit, it's the video. I'd never realised beforehand that TOTP films the audience watching the videos for the acts they don't have in. It seems really redundant, actually. ace things about this record: stuttering, strings, Sigmund Freud.

TOM JONES INTERNATIONAL: oh dear. Wyclef co-wrote this, apparently.

"five six, better lock up yo' chicks, seven eight, before it's too late" pretty much displaces "i've never thrown my knickers at you / and i don't come from wales" as line in a tom jones-related record i most didn't need to hear. oh god this is wretched. doesn't even have the laugh value of that version of Pussycat they did on the TOTP anniversary show. or a tune.

SHAGGY - "Hey Sexy Lady"

he looks like one of the scousers from the Harry Enfield Show. or possibly the Fast Show. well. Shaggy's wearing a transparent shirt and it's pretty much open and you can see his gut: he keeps making these records but really he sounds like he'd rather find someone and settle down, and looks it too. it's a little bit sad.

ROMEO / CHRISTINA MILIAN

"hold up while i turn the page / (pause ) / and continue to verbally burn the page"

CRAIG DAVID - "What's Ya Flava?"

Three acts I hated in high school in a row! wow. (ok, you need to take Romeo as being the same as So Solid Crew. and I actually kinda like So Solid Crew.) uh. this isn't really about oral sex, is it? (scroll down) ... "met this chick named walnut whip / nearly made me sick to the point of throwing up / ... / i wonder if i can peel your wrapper .. " ew?

ROBBIE WILLIAMS - "Feel"

four!!!

there was a period when i was reading the NME where every mention of the name Robbie Williams was followed by "the poppy piece of shite". which gets it exactly wrong: if he really sounded pop, he'd be likable but he sounds like the same old Beatles moves over and over a bloody gain. he's almost as bad as Oasis. (nb. his songs which aren't him being SERIOUS BALLADEER are always always better) oh god, it's a black and white video..

DJ SAMMY - "Heaven"

this sounds like live vocals, which would explain why it isn't working as well as the record, since the record is one of the occasional records which makes me understand why people do the whole Ibiza thing.. having another terrible dance routine attached doesn't make it any better.

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Ha ha bloody ha. I'm sure everyone aware of this joke is currently splitting their sides and if they aren't I hope they do and I hope they bleed to death from it.

Anyway -

"There's a FIRE ON THE MOON!!!"

Sometimes things just gotta be LOUD!!!

Monday, November 04, 2002

OH SHIT OH SHIT I FORGOT ABOUT THE LIVE STUFF



(maybe this week i will actually write something about why i like dexy's midnight runners and why i think they are a band people should listen to)
actually, the Ten Best Dexy's Midnight Runners Albums are these:


  1. don't stand me down
  2. searching for the young soul rebels
  3. too rye ay
  4. too rye ay
  5. too rye ay
  6. don't stand me down
  7. too rye ay
  8. too rye ay
  9. searching for the young soul rebels
  10. don't stand me down
wait, no, that's all wrong. top ten dexy's midnight runners albums of all time, as of right now:


  1. don't stand me down
  2. too rye ay
  3. too rye ay
  4. searching for the young soul rebels
  5. don't stand me down
  6. searching for the young soul rebels
  7. too rye ay
  8. too rye ay
  9. don't stand me down
  10. searching for the young soul rebels
sigh. top ten dexy's midnight runners albums:


  1. too rye ay
  2. don't stand me down
  3. searching for the young soul rebels
  4. don't stand me down
  5. too rye ay
  6. too rye ay
  7. searching for the young soul rebels
  8. too rye ay
  9. don't stand me down
  10. searching for the young soul rebels

My brother asked me for a 'Top Ten Albums of All Time' list the other night. Devising said list has confused me a little because I'm not sure what direction things like lists are putting my listening in. I'm not sure whether, like my interest in films, I am aiming at a specific canon and enjoying the fruits of the accomplished art, or whether I should renounce this train of thought and look to specialise and dig deeper into little-known bands and indie snobbery.

The list I made certainly suggests the former, but this is only because I have an uncontrollable instinct to apply technical, 'objective' criteria, in order to make sure that my list includes albums which CAN be generally justified by any music listener as great without me having to explain why I like them. Having an affinity with records never gets them into the ten alone, it can only make one record out-rank another (nb. these are all subconscious mental stages I go through, not physically practise them) and so I don't include records like 'The Stone Roses'. Most of the albums I include I rarely listen to any more, but recognise that these are the best albums I have heard, hence the abundance of obvious choices.

Note that newly-introduced works (eg 69 Love Songs {edit: that tom w. so KINDLY burned me a copy of last week and i am so GRATEFUL for ahem hem} ) are ignored, due to me not having enough time to develop an all-encompassing opinion on them. Also I currently have big respect for twee sixties pop (I've been listening to the Zombies' 'Time Of The Season' a whole lot).

1/ Scott Walker - Scott 4
2/ The Beach Boys - Pet Sounds
3/ Tricky - Maxinquaye
4/ Talking Heads - Remain In Light
5/ My Bloody Valentine - Loveless
6/ The Velvet Underground - The Velvet Underground & Nico
7/ Public Enemy - It Takes A Nation Of Millions To Hold Us Back
8/ PJ Harvey - Rid Of Me
9/ Wire - Pink Flag
10/ The Teardrop Explodes - Kilimanjaro

joshblog provoked this awful post through his ability to combine both indie snob bands and a universally accepted/respected canon. It also blasts my list into total inadequacy, whilst also explaining half of my logic behind my top ten better than I could.